Upon seeing the come-hither blonde smiling enticingly on the front page of Lingerie at Large, the first thought that pops to my mind is “Aw hell no!” The same “aw hell no!” I yell when my ab exercises begin to reshape organs into unfortunate shapes. The same “aw hell no!” I yell when a certain boyfriend of me tries to con me out of the house while wearing leggings. The same “Aw hell no!” I yell when approached by Amway.
Looking at this woman’s vacant smile, it reminds me of the immortal words of Hugh Hefner on a recent episode of The Girls Next Door: “When you try to look sexy, you look stupid.”
Bra sizes are limited from A-D, while other pieces go up to 4x. There are plus size models, displayed in the most disturbing manner possible and there are things to be seen that I refuse to burn on my eyeballs again. When I opened up this series with a rant about the way women’s bodies are displayed in some of these stores, I was talking about this one among a few others. There are panties actually lost up butt cracks, women covering their breasts from “peek-a-boo” bras in mock coyness, and a thong with the charm “horny” pinned to it spelunking avenues bound to make your dentist cringe.
If you’re into that… fine. But I’m not going to encourage you to support a business that clearly doesn’t respect your sexiness. I’m taking my goodies over to Roaman’s, or Silhouettes. They respect me while making me feel hot. You know, the good kind of dirty.
