As far as I’m concerned, you get the entire month of January to decide on any New Year’s resolutions. It gives you an opportunity to test things out and see what will work. Usually this time of year we are particularly beset by all those resolutions to lose weight, get in shape, have a bikini body only really achievable with surgery by around April. I think most of us know this is self-destructive and tends to reinforce our bad habits by making them seem like a relieving reward, so I thought I’d suggest a few alternatives to really build self-esteem.
I also recommend only choosing one resolution per year. It’s about improving your life, not about being perfect – and this way if you backslide, you backslide but you can still reset. The point of it being a New Year’s resolution is to work on it over the course of the year, after all.
Alternate resolutions to consider:
1. Add new foods to your diet.
The subconscious mind doesn’t get “cant’s” or “dont’s.” It does, however, assimilate “do this instead” which is why the technique works well on children and for affirmations. So rather than saying, “stop eating junk food,” say, “I’m going to add beans to my diet.” (Beans are high in fiber and protein. Any food will do, really.) As you find new recipes and more creative ways to eat, it will eventually displace some but probably not all of your unhealthy food choices.
This happens to be my resolution for this year. I’ve always hated beans, but I really need them in my diet if I want to commit wholesale to vegetarianism. I only recently discovered I’ve only a few times eaten them prepared properly.
2. Get used to how you look in photographs.
This is psychologically very difficult, I know. But once you conquer this you really will be on your way to self-acceptance. There will always be some person, usually a guy, who will be a jerk upon seeing the pictures and do everything he can to make you feel miserable that he doesn’t want to sleep with you. Yes, it will hurt. Yes, you will face a setback. Yes, you will have to begin again. Just remember: you have the power of delete in most circumstances where you can post your picture online, and most of the time, you can selectively delete comments. Free speech means people are free to say what they like, but that doesn’t mean you have to host it in perpetuity.
3. Get rid of all the clothing that doesn’t fit you anymore.
Do it. We’ve all been saving that one pair of jeans until we can magically fit back into it. As far as I know, getting back into the skinny jeans forever only happened to Miranda on Sex and the City, and she was fictional – and never, ever plus-sized. So pitch them on out, make some room in your closet for something fabulous be it clothing, books, or a great armoire. It moves you towards accepting yourself as you are, and moves those false carrots we dangle in front of ourselves out of your house.
The problem with all those “body positive” resolutions such as “lose weight” is that it demands you hate your body before you can love it. It’s almost as absurd as asking your child to be a straight A student before you show any sign of affection. Give yourself something concrete to work with, rather than forcing yourself to chase a shadow.
