Even if, for the most part, it must be your secret love.

My mother fancies herself quite the seamstress, and to save money when we were growing up she would often sew our clothing - right until I got to the age where she deemed I should have an interest in sewing, a conclusion based solely on my being female since I had clearly demonstrated neither interest nor ability in that area. Part of my aversion to sewing came from my mother. Most of it came from the way she handled the measuring tape.

Every year, she would get out the tape measure, and have me turn in every direction and move body parts around in most unnatural ways to she could length and heights and widths. She would check back on the numbers, and cluck at how much my size had increased, and say stupid and ignorant things suggesting that with enough sit-ups I would deserve to be loved.

My sister, of course, had little problem with the tape when we were children. Generally she was rewarded with praise for her body being the way it was - as a way of “demonstrating” to me the benefits of becoming thin.

Then my sister had her baby and gained weight. She needed some clothing, but my mother just couldn’t get her to commit to a measuring session. She voiced her confusion to me - my mother didn’t understand WHY someone would have such a problem with it.

I get it! I told her. It’s a humiliating process.
My mother was stunned. It is???

Now I don’t know whether my mother’s shock was genuine or not - she was humiliating me quite deliberately and did so with glee in private and public, and since she favors my sister, it’s possible she would have spared my sister the verbal indignities I was subjected to on a regular basis. But since my sister had watched for years what my mother put me through, it’s no wonder she avoided her.

I’m sure others have had similarly scarring experiences with measurement, and see the measuring tape as a symbol of all that is wrong with the way other people see our bodies. But it’s not.

The measuring tape just tells the truth. It’s like a good cop, or like an IRS auditor: we may not like what it says at all, but it’s really just doing its job.

A few things I have done to take away the fear:
I keep it by my computer and use it like a ruler - by using it for all sorts of things, using it on myself has become more of a neutral experience.

I appreciate the accuracy. I know exactly how large my wrists are, my neck, my bust - which does make online shopping a tiny bit easier.

I appreciate that what it tells me has more relevance to my health barometer than does the scale. If I’m changing my body significantly, the measurements will change and alert me that something is either going right or that it needs adjustment.

Learn to get comfortable with it - maybe even tuck it in your purse, and whip it out to measure actual clothing in the store to better gauge whether it’s worth trying it on.

If you treat the tape measure like an ally, it will become an ally.