Every so often I get some “fashion advice” that is a combination of queen bee shittery and self-promotion. I refer you to my tagline: “It’s not about trying to look thin.” I got some today on a post from 2010, one labeled “recessionista.” Â I’ve had problems with advice-as-bullying before – and for regular readers, you know what I think about female social violence. I will not tolerate another person trying to make me feel like shit. I had 20+ years of that from my own family, I’m not about to tolerate that from random people on the Internet.
As hard as it may be to fathom, plus size fashion is Â not about being aesthetically pleasurable to YOU. Â It’s about pleasing myself, especially given the extremely displeasing limited resources running around.
People who have legitimate comments and ideas know how to post them without the snide tones. Â They also aren’t trying to use my comments forum to sell me things.
That shit will be blacklisted. So will butt-hurt whining – it’s not my job to help you confirm how you see yourself.
Just in case this was intended as genuine help (why?) and not as some “let me make you feel like crap so you can seek my approval and I can make you feel like crap some more,” stuff, here is a basic guideline to GOOD fashion advice. I am of the philosophy that less is more when it comes to fashion – What Not to Wear is one of the most appallingly abusive TV shows of all time to my mind. They don’t give a rat’s ass what their victim – er, “guest” actually does on a day-to-day basis
If you are determined to give fashion advice, always start with the following questions:
- Is this person seeking advice? Sometimes it’s simply showing what the clothing looks like on a fat person.
- What message is this person trying to send with his/her outfit?
- What kind of life does this person have? If you don’t know, then you really have no business offering advice – your best bet is to ask more questions. Even when I was Â single, I wasn’t dressing to “catch a man” and I’m bewildered by the women I meet who still do. But pleasing men? So NOT why the Creator made me.
The fat-hate trolls are easy to spot and block, but these self-promoting, snide, out-of-touch with what fat positive actually is fashion trolls? Good Gods, do I need to turn society upside down and shake it by the ankles? These women are poison, and a sorrow to all of us trying to be supportive and decent in a world that’s hard on women no matter WHERE in the world you live.