Sorry, I Don’t Want An “Amazing Transformation!”
Since the discovery that there were vast sums to be derived from making others feel inadequate, never has such high intelligence has been devoted to low self-esteem.
And never has technology had such effective tools to work with. Between CGI and Photoshop, women (and everybody else) have almost no access to unmediated images.
For example: when has Oprah EVER looked like one of her own magazine covers? It sickens moi when Oprah has those â€œempoweringâ€ title lines on her covers. â€œBe The Best You?â€ Then how about showing us the REAL You, Oprah? The woman who is overweight, with heavy arms. This is not meant as a criticism of Ms. Winfreyâ€™s physique. It is a criticism of Ms. Winfreyâ€™s holding herself out as an example. An example that is a LIE.
Ms. Winfrey believes that her bazillions of followers will not buy her magazines if Oprah Winfrey actually looks like Oprah Winfrey.
The mind boggles. In fact, it makes my head hurt if I think about this too much.
Larger lovelies are further marginalized not only by Oprah having herself halved in size, but also the eradication of any and all normal flaws in media images. We are so ceaselessly bombarded by smooth, creamy perfection at every turn that oneself cannot measure up. Even the perfect people are not perfect enough. In television and movies, no wrinkles, bulges, unsightly moles, body hair, bra lines, panty lines, a dress wrinkled in the waist and skirt from sitting downâ€”thanks to CGI, â€œall gone!â€ as a friend of mine says to her shiba inu when lunch is done.
What the photographers, fashion assistants and others share is that women do not shed their â€œbaby weightâ€ in any sort of phenomenal way.Â They get liposuction, tummy tucks, and get thisâ€”tightened vaginas.Â Which is now called â€œvaginal rejuvenation.â€Â As if the vagina needs Botox and a peel!
Before I write anything else, there is one item I must get off my ample chest: if I meet the people behind the Victoriaâ€™s Secret ad campaigns and catalogs, there would be blood on the streets. Even the gaunt Dachau victims that lurch down the runways during Fashion Week are more realistic than those pencils with false breasts. Victoriaâ€™s Secret has it allâ€¦One can feel bad about being skinny, flat-chested, large-chested, heavy, tall, shortâ€¦any woman that does not look like these bizarre hybrids. And the quality of their merchandise is far lower than their prices would indicate.
The name â€œVictoriaâ€™s Secretâ€ brings to mind the image of a young Victorian female, all plush curves and dimpled elbows. Beautiful lingerie enhancing the splendor of an actual human body. Sensual fabrics on sexual females. The hint of a double chin above a soft neck. Long hair spilled across a satin pillowcase.
Thousands of ads toting exercise machines, DVDs, pills, programs, all guaranteed to make you lose weight and keep it off. Sometimes I wonder:
a) Why have I never met anyone personally who underwent such a transformation?
b) If all of those hordes of â€œaftersâ€ are thin, how can there be any fat people left, logistically speaking?
You might think this is a â€œbeen there, done thatâ€ tirade. We have been there. We have done that. But never as completely. Never as unremittingly. Women are trained from the cradle to think of themselves as physically inadequate in some way. Heavy women even more so. Now, overweight isn’t only overweight, it is a crime against humanity. At least according to TMZ and their ilk.
Where are the role models for larger lovelies? Every time a heavy beauty has a career breakthroughâ€¦she sheds poundage. And since said beauty has always given publicity about â€œloving myself the way I amâ€, the frantic backtracking becomes comic to watch. â€œYes, I did love myself at that weight, but life can be enjoyed at any size!â€ THEN WHY DID YOU LOSE SIXTY POUNDS, BITCH? (Yes, Iâ€™m looking at you, Jennifer Hudson. I know there are others. But Iâ€™m looking at you.)
We are betrayed at every turn. America Ferrera started â€œUgly Bettyâ€ as a larger lovely, but grew progressively thinner as the showâ€™s run went on. Singer Jordin Sparks is Â´delightedÂ´ to have lost weight. Media websites love to run slideshows of â€œAmazing Transformations!â€
Thatâ€™s another peeve. You donâ€™t lose weight. You have â€œAn Amazing Transformation!â€ â€œComplete Body Makeover!â€ Good God, it makes me long for the days when the goal of losing weight was wellâ€¦losing weight. Buy a smaller bra. Wear pleats. Can we ever go back? If we’re going to make abortion illegal again, while we’re at it, can’t we go back to excess poundage not being a mortal sin?
Pardon the pun: Fat chance. My apologies if this rambles a bit, but I have low blood sugar. I am going to go eat a chocolate cupcake. In public.